Dating after divorce in your 40s
Being someone who lost about 10 pounds right off the bat, I felt anything but pretty and sexy and confident. When I got separated, I temporarily became a person who doesn’t define who I really am. I was very stressed because I now had to think about what I was going to do for work, with no current computer skills and no belief in myself. I was coming out of a toxic situation: I think when two people are in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage, (which could be for years) both are losing self-worth every minute they stay together. Because you are around this person constantly who you think hates you, or who is belittling you, or who you know doesn’t want to be with you anymore, or who is condescending, or mean.Or, maybe you are the one who wants out of the marriage.Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .
She’s busy, or she might have just started working again. And lastly, the recently separated woman is dating again. Most would say they see themselves as being more attractive, right? But, let me take you into the mind of the recently separated 40 something woman. I had zero self esteem when it came to my professional ability, and figured the only skills I had now were diaper changing, bottle feeding and house cleaning.
In the intervening 19 years, the Internet had opened up a whole new world, and Matty-lad was about to enter it.
It was only a month after separation, which may seem indecently hasty, that I broke into the world of online dating.
This certainly put things into perspective since I’d previously looked as those women as out of my league. I was ready to embark into the world of online dating. This was not easy an easy feat in a family of five.
She told me that her friends were jealous of our friendship, because of how cute I was. The last time I’d started a relationship, communication outside of meeting up was using the phone (landline phone –that is how old I am) in my parents’ bedroom hoping that nobody else would overhear.
It didn’t matter how skinny I was, I was the big 4-1.