Dating jewish people
The Jewish approach warns us not to “love in spite of yourself”, but to love “because of yourself”. Enter into the love relationship with your eyes open, not with your eyes closed.
Don’t accept blind dates, unless you know who the potential partner is.
How could I marry a non-Jew, contributing to the assimilation and possible disappearance of my people?
And even if I could accept intermarriage, my father never would. He had repeatedly told me how important it was to marry "inside." He worried about the ultimate demise of the Jewish people through assimilation.
It’s an age-old stereotype, but that doesn’t mean it can’t ring true in many cases. Amongst Jewish men, you’re somehow less likely to find the “let the boy make it for himself; he has to earn it without my help” sort of attitude. Plus, his third-generation American status affords him more upward mobility.
He may very well be thrilled to help you out with this, but not to the extent of getting over-excited and blowing it on a hair-brained investment scheme. You’ll inevitably get it wrong, compared with her version and her mother’s before her. This entails some excitement, possibly travel, and an executive position of your own?
Honestly, why you should marry a Jewish man boils down to a single, profound reason — his mother trained him well. More to the point, have you ever seen how a Jewish man reacts to not being satisfied at a restaurant?
You know he’ll behave because he had a no-nonsense teacher in the art of treating women well. (Hint: Not graciously.) They tend to act like they feel lucky that pretty women even want to spend time with them, especially if those pretty women aren’t Jewish.
He was a nice secular non-Jew from Seattle whose religious identity was rooted in memories of hanging stockings on Christmas and eating chocolate on Easter.
It was the day I’d long hoped for, marrying a nice Jewish girl. In fact, by the time we’d started dating, I’d given up on Jewish women, and my dream of a perfect Jewish wedding, altogether. The intense pressure I felt to date and marry within the tribe damaged my perception of Jewish women and my ability to be myself around them.
This information was pounded in from all directions, from rabbis, from my parents, my grandparents, Hebrew High School, Camp Ramah.
Unlike me, she hadn’t dreamed of meeting someone Jewish and having a Jewish wedding.
I was only able to relax around non-Jewish women, because I didn’t feel the same pressure; that’s how I met, and fell in love with, my wife.
They understand how to go with the flow to please women. Have you ever seen a Jewish man order food at a restaurant?